Losing someone that you love, regardless of the circumstances, takes a long time to get over. When someone dies we immediately focus on getting through the ensuing days, organising the funeral, and taking care of all of the details that need to be taken care of.
If your loss occurs in the new year, the grief can be exacerbated by the loss of shared ambition and hope for what you thought the new year might bring. Depression, sadness, anger, frustration and bewilderment are all symptoms of grief. If grieving occurs at what you thought would be a time of renewal, the feelings can be even more overwhelming.
Grieving during the holidays may involve returning from an overseas holiday or cancelling your plans to take a trip. Only you know how you feel about those types of decisions. You may decide that the best thing you can do is cancel the trip because you need to be here for practical reasons or to support somebody else. One of your parents may have died and your father or mother may need your help. Helping others and thinking less about yourself can be a great therapy in the early days of grieving. Of course you can’t escape your feelings of loss forever. Sooner or later you will need to face up to them. For that reason, taking that trip and getting away might be the best decision you can make for you and your family.
Others may try to influence what you should do. You will no doubt be around family and friends who are also going through their own process. They may have a completely different way of responding to those feelings. They may want to continue with a planned holiday or celebration and you may not. You can’t control other people’s responses nor should you allow others to control your feelings and responses. It’s important to recognise that you can’t push feelings of grief and confusion away with logic or reason. Grief needs to be honoured.
Other things to avoid while you are grieving is isolation and expectations. Being alone with your feelings and nobody to share them with can be dangerous. Find one or more friends who are prepared to take your calls and listen to you. Expressing your thoughts and feelings is more healing than anything else that you can do. Don’t put a time limit on your grief. Grieving will take as long as it needs. There are seven well documented stages of grief and they can come at different times depending on the individual. Trying to prevent yourself from feeling will only prolong the grieving process.
You will need to take care of practicalities and process. There’s no avoiding it. To find funeral directors in Sydney who have your best interests at heart is so important and not without its challenges. Do your due diligence. Ask lots of questions and even ask for references if that makes you feel better. Find out what is included in the quote they provide. Unscrupulous and unprofessional funeral services can cause you more pain at an already painful time in your life.
